It's There In Black & White...Sort Of

   It certainly been an emotional roller coast trying to figure out the how, what, where and why I was having main in my groin/hip area.  I tried to rack my brain figuring this out and little did I know, the cause of all of this has been there probably since I was born.

     Wednesday I had my first visit with my orthopedic surgeon to get some answers.  Overall I would say the visit went very well and I felt completely comfortable with him.  When I arrived I was first sent to get x-rays of my hip.  When that was finished I made my way to the waiting area before his nurse came and got me for all the usual questions one gets asked at the start of a doctors visit.  When the doc came in he asked me a few questions about the background of my injury and then proceeded to perform a physical exam.  He twisted, pushed and pulled on my leg and hip spouting of a bunch of medical jargon for his assistant to write down.

     When he was finished he pulled out his iPad to show me the results of my x-rays.  What they show was some over growth of bone which amounts to, using a layman's term, a bump on the ball of the hip joint on top of the femur.  How he explained it to me is there is cartilage lining the hip joint socket, called the labrum, that the ball on top of the femur rides on.  When use my leg in a running stride type motion that bump rubs up against the cartilage and can cause irritation and / or a tear in that cartilage.  So needless to say I got some answers, but it only raised more questions for me and my doctor.

     So where do I go from here, well the next step is to find out if there is truly any damage to the cartilage itself, or any other factors that cannot be seen on an x-ray.  Next up is the super expensive MRI next week, with a follow up visit the week after to go over the results.  I would guess that after the MRI, doc will have an idea if this requires surgery or something else.  I know I have my assumptions as to the answer to that question, but no need to put the cart before the horse.

Taking It To The Next Level

     Just wanted to throw out a quick update on my injury and the road to recovery.  Last week, Alisha, my physical therapist asked me to take a complete week off from all activity and we would reevaluate on Wednesday.  During my rest I put myself on an ibuprofen regimen and a icing routine.  Slowly throughout the week the pain started to subside and I was starting to get a positive feeling that this may be all I needed, that is till Wednesday.

     I woke up Wednesday and the pain and aching had returned in full force and believe it or not all I could do was smile, shake my head and laugh.  I sent Alisha an email letting her know of my progress and regress for the week.  She felt it was time to take it to the next level and see a specialist.  I really had no idea what to do or who to see on, so Alisha recommended a doctor that is top notch in his field here in Toledo.  Alisha has been so great through my previous injury recovery and now this situation that I fully trust her opinion and who she recommends I see.  She got me his contact info and I called for an appointment.     This coming Wednesday I'll be having my initial evaluation and an x-ray, so hopefully I'll have an answer to my problem or at the very least have it narrowed down to a short list of possible issues.

     If you wonder how I am able to keep my spirits up during this situation, well its been a little rough but Jedi has been keeping me entertained!

   
     I am anxious to see what he has to say, but I fear that this my drag on for a couple of weeks before, one, I have a diagnosis, and two, know if I have to have surgery or not.  So for now, the goal is to get healthy enough to run again, while I hope and pray that I'll be able to run the Detroit Marathon in three and a half months!

What Could It Be?

     So after last Sunday's run I contacted my physical therapist and gave her the bad news of how the run went.  She pretty much said what I new she would say and what I was thinking as I walked/limped back home, "you should have rested today and not pushed yourself".  She wanted me to rest on Monday and Tuesday, then attempt an easy 2 mile run on Wednesday.  

     I woke up on Wednesday and my hip joint area was aching a little bit.  I thought about not attempting the two miles, but I stretched out and went anyway.  I kept slow, around a 10 min pace and did fairly well, but I would get an occasional twinge of aching type pain.  Nothing to make me stop or want to stop, just reminding me that its there.  She wanted me to stop at the end of the first mile and do a few light stretches, so when I hit mile one I stopped and did the stretches and turned tail and headed for home.  At mile 1.66, that same twinge of aching type pain with an occasional sharper pain (nothing intense) would come and go much more frequently till I finished the full two miles.  When I was done, the aching pain hung around and lingered for awhile afterwards.  

     I contacted my PT and she decided it would be best if I came in for another session that afternoon.  She seemed concerned that the pain was coming on sooner and sooner with each run.  So after a lot of questions and the usual pushing, pulling and twisting the theory changed from a muscle issue to possibly being a tear to the hip joint cartilage know as the acetabular labrum or labral tear.  Basically from what I gathered on the Internet, that this is the cartilage that separates the ball from the socket in the hip join.  

     Obviously my PT wasn't making a diagnosis because the only true why to know if it is a labral tear is to have an expensive MRI, but based on the symptoms I have described to her she thought this to have a good probability.  According to her and what I read online, there are two main ways of treating this.  First is a non surgical option, which means a lot of physical therapy and strength training to strengthen the muscles around the hip to better support it and minimize the onset of pain.  The other is surgery which then would be followed by lots of physical therapy and no guarantee that the pain will end and running can continue.

     So where do I go from here?  Well because she is on the fence about it being a labral tear we decided for me to take one week off from all activities and completely rest it.  It was recommended, but not prescribed to take whatever anti inflammatory I am comfortable with taking and icing the area several times a day.  Next Wednesday we will talk and reevaluate our options.

     Part of me really wants to pay the money to have the MRI done just so I know for sure what I am dealing with, but the other part of me knows I don't really have the cash to pay for a test that could, even with my insurance, cost me 1-2 thousand dollars.  Mostly though, this is turning into a real test for my patience.  This could be a very small blip on my running life, but damn it, when you are going through it, it feels like an eternity.       

Where Is The Nearest Wall

     Man I can't tell how great things are going right now.  I have been in such a great mood and run all kinds of miles and I have a dozen races on the schedule coming up, life couldn't be better with my running right now..........is what I really want to say right now, however this couldn't be further from the truth.  

     I visited my physical therapist on Wednesday to get my leg checked out.  She went through a series of exercises along with a lot of stretching, twisting and pulling to try and loosen things up.  I was instructed to attempt a 3 mile run with a quick stretching break at the end of each mile.  Thursday's run went pretty well and Saturday's run went even better which gave me the confidence to head out for another run this morning.  Well that is what I get for thinking I know what is best, because I didn't even make it to a mile and a half before pain set in and a short mile later I decided to shut it down and walk the last half mile home.

     I started to think of all my goals I set for this year and started to feel so defeated and depressed.  When I developed my knee injury, I thought I hit the ultra low point, but I think having come back from an injury to have another one pop up so quickly really can send you to a new low.  I really felt like just beating my head against the wall, because at the end of the day, I really don't care about my time goals or PRs, I just want to get back to a regular running schedule.  I got into this to lose weight and now I need it to maintain my weight so that is why I think I take it so hard when I can't run.   

Yeah, this is how I feel right now dealing with nagging injuries.

      So I went back and looked at my goals I set for myself for this year and even though I actually have accomplished two of those goals, neither of which was a running goal.  Here is the list of goals for the year:

Get back to regular running

2015 or more total miles for the year

Run a trail race

37 miles on my 37th birthday

Complete an Ultra Marathon

Complete the Detroit Marathon

Hit my goal weight of 173 lbs

Maintain my weight within the range of 168 - 178

Try more fruits & vegetables

     I hit my weight goal, tried more fruits & vegetables and I could even say I have maintained my weight within range, but I won't count that one till the end of the year.  With the exception of one of them the rest are being thrown out the window because I think I am trying to hard to do to much to soon.  Getting back to regular running is my first and only goal, because if I can't do that, the Detroit marathon isn't going to happen, and I really want to do that one and run with my friends.  I am going to rest tomorrow and talk to my PT again and see where I go from here.

New Injury, Just Before Marathon Training Begins

     I so want to be writing tonight on how my 10K at Kelleys Island went today, but I am not for two very different reasons.  The first and less important one is I had a really long day at work followed up by a long evening at Ohio Bike Week.  It was the last night for all the major festivities and the band Buckcherry was the evenings final entertainment.  When we got home around 11:30 the pups were wide awake so we stayed up to play with them and by the time we crawled in bed it was close to 1:30am.  Based on how tired I felt I decided I really didn't want to get up early and pay to go run 6.2 miles when I could sleep in and run 6.2 for free.  Well it was a good thing I made that decision because I would have had the worst race of my life and possibly a DNF if I had run. 

     So let me back track for a minute, on Wednesday I went out for my long run when I was about 4 miles in I started developing some pain in my upper outer thigh, just below my hip and the inside of my leg around my groin area.  The pain slowly got worse to the point I even stopped to stretch it out.  I finished the run and emailed Alisha, my PT about my pain.  She instructed me to ice and stretch and rest a couple of days, so I followed her instruction and even took one more days rest than she suggested.  I woke up this morning feeling pretty good and rested and decided to head out for a 6 mile run, which turned out to be a very bad and stubborn decision!  Two and three quarter miles in I felt a slight pain come back and by the time I hit mile three I needed to stop and stretch it out.

     Since this was an out and back run, I turned around and started a slow jog back thinking a super slow pace would help, but it really didn't.  At 3.5 miles I decided to shut it down and walk the rest of the way home.  It was the stubborn for me to think I could just go out a few days after an injury and just run six miles like nothing was wrong, but I did.  Needless to say I was quite disappointed and feeling pretty deflated.  Now you can see why I am glad I didn't head out to the race today.

     Now it would be easy for me to sit here and ramble on about how this sucks and am I ever going to return to some normalcy and injury free running, but I won't do that to you all.  I am going to speak with my PT and see where I go from here.

     Out of the darkness there is at least a little light to be positive about.  On Wednesday I had my first weigh-in in two or three weeks and I have been having success with my maintenance.  Weight has been holding steady just below my goal weight of 173 pounds.

  

What To Say When You Have Nothing To Say?

     Well as the title states, I don't really know what to talk about at this point.  For the last couple of weeks, I just haven't felt like I have anything worth talking about and thought maybe I was a little burned out.  Lately I just haven't felt like myself and I feel like I am wondering aimlessly trying to figure out where I go from here.  It is weird not having a huge goal hanging over my head like I did with my weight loss and now with maintenance I just don't feel like I have a true goal to strive for and it is driving me nuts.  I feel like I have to have this huge epic goal, the game changing type goal, but I am unsure if I can't find one because I don't need one or because I just haven't figured it out yet. 

     While I struggle to find my bearings I also feel like work seems to be consuming more and more of my life in one way or another with us coming into our busiest time of the year.  Last week I was in Milwaukee for four days for work, and the experience was absolutely amazing.  I learned a lot in some of the areas of the business that my job doesn't have me work with on a regular basis.  Spending time at the world headquarters for Harley-Davidson was a dream come true for a guy who just 14 years ago was detailing bikes, mopping floors and cleaning toilets at a dealership just so I could say I work for Harley-Davidson.  While I was there I was also able to visit and get a private behind the scenes tour at the Harley Museum which was located just across the river from my hotel.  It was a truly once in a lifetime experience that reminded that not only do I work for an awesome company, but I do something I can say I truly enjoy.

    
     It wasn't all Harley-Davidson while I was there, I did manage to get some miles in and hang out with a truly inspiring human being.  The first day I ran around the Harley Museum and stayed in town running along the Hank Aaron Trail towards the Milwaukee Brewers stadium.  Day two I headed over to the park that runs along the shores of Lake Michigan.  I can't explain how nice it was with a stunning sunrise peaking out from behind the clouds.  That evening I met up with Rik Akey from the Fat to Finish Line documentary and the man that was the inspiration that fueled my belief that this weight loss journey was even possible.  He had a running club fun run going on that night, so I joined the group for a nice easy 4 mile run before we headed to a cool local restaurant called AJ Bombers, for a bite to eat.  It was great catching up and learning more about what fuels Rik's passion for helping and inspiring others.

    
     Since I still don't know what direction I am running in right now I'll just continue to put miles on my feet until things come into focus.     

About Me Page Update

     So the other day I was thinking of what I was going to write about now that I have no races coming up and I am still trying to figure out my new goals for the rest of this year.  I was flipping through my page and I realized I haven't updated my "About Me" page since I started Running in the Fat Lane back in February of 2014.  So I read through it and made a few corrections to the first half and pretty much totally rewrote the second half of the story, so I figured I would go ahead and post the entire thing.

     Yep, that's me to the left, when I was that size I never felt like I was that big.  I enjoyed life like I was "thin" and never felt like it was a problem.  My wife loved me, I had a good job and no one ever made a big deal about it.  Well something finally clicked.  My story isn't a page turner or filled with personal tragedy that could be considered an acceptable reason for why my weight became such a problem. I AM LAZY pure and simple and this is my story...       

     

     Over my entire childhood I was always considered the chubby one, a little bigger than most but it never really got out of hand.  Pretty much like every other kid I played football, baseball, soccer and basketball, I was always doing something.  If I had to put my finger on the main reason for my size would say my diet had a lot to do with it.  I was "addicted" to sugar, candy, Pop, cookies, donuts, etc. along with burgers, fries, pizza, fast food and having no concept portion control you can see why this is where I ended up.  

    

     When I started in high school I was right around 200 pounds, I know this because I decided to go out for freshman wrestling and when I was a freshman weighing 200 and up was the heavyweight class.  After a month of getting my ass handed to me by 6 foot 300 plus pound kids I talked with my coaches about cutting weight.  A month later I was weighing in at 175 and was actually winning a few matches.  The summer prior to my sophomore year I turned 16, I traded my bicycle and skateboard in for car keys, gave up wrestling for what I look back now as stupid reasons, to which I now mark as the exact moment my current struggles with weight began.  All through high school and college I continued my eating habits that I am sure was coming in around 3-5000 calories a day combined with little to no exercise.

     By the time I married my wife in 2004 I was probably hovering around 250-260, and that is when the proverbial shit hit the fan, and before I new it I was tipping the scales at 317 pounds.  2007-2012 was a weight roller coaster for me, I tried every fad diet in the book from protein shakes for breakfast & lunch to Atkins to the HCG plan. The lowest I ever got down to was 247lbs while on HCG, but the minute I stopped and had one cheat day then another and then another which snowballed back into my old ways of candy, fast and fried food, late night nachos and donuts I ballooned back to 293 by the end of 2012.

     What was my aha moment? well I claim there really wasn't one. Not even after I went to see my doctor for a routine check up and blood work. Those test came back with some red flags and he ordered more tests. By the time all the tests were done my pocket was $1200 lighter and I was standing with one foot off the edge of the diabetes cliff and the need for medication.  

     My Doc gave me two months to try and change my diet and start exercising to reverse the damage or he would recommend medication. So for the first month while feeling depressed, I did what most anyone in my position would do, NOT A DAMN THING.  I blocked it out and acted like there was nothing wrong with me.  In the second month I finally got around to getting a gym membership and going a couple of days a week.  Just going to the gym was a huge accomplishment for me, but I wasn't really putting in a ton of effort while using the weight and elliptical machines. 

     Now if you believe that there is that one moment in everyone's life when God intervenes in your life and points you in the direction that will forever change your life, then this was it.  The gym has an indoor track and one day while on the elliptical, I was watching the runners and walkers through the glass, I thought screw this, I'm gonna give jogging a try. Even though I couldn't even make it anywhere close to a mile I enjoyed it and for the first time felt like I had a quality workout, so 2 days later I did it again and continued every other day.

     The indoor track takes 9 laps to make a mile, and as I was making progress towards achieving that first mile, I started to get really interested in the topic of running, and when I get interested in something I research it to death. While in the Itunes store I came across an awesome podcast called Runner Academy, and found the host Matt Johnson to be very informative and helpful. The episode I have listened to the most and I think really kicked me into high gear is #8 which was all about two of the Fat to Finish line documentary teammates. That episode gave me the inspiration and the confidence that I could lose the weight, and do it with running. My plan was simple, to run for exercise and reduce my caloric intake to around 2000 calories.

     I tracked everything I put in my mouth with the My Net Diary App on my phone.  I started out by setting a large goal that I would break down into smaller chunks.  I set my first goal to break 247lbs, which was my lowest weight I had been able to reach.  I then broke my goal down into 10 pound increments.  Once I hit that goal I set my next to hit 225lbs.  As I reach goal then I move on to the next and so on. It sounds easy enough, but I won't lie to you, it was a long struggling journey filled with highs and lows. My original goal was to stop when I reached 193lbs, but that seemed to still be a little to heavy so I decided that my finish line is my freshman year wrestling weight of 173lbs. Two years, three months and 8 days after I began this journey I had finally reached my goal.  A number that I had not seen since sometime in 1994.  I have since re-evaluated how I look and feel and I decided that I don't need to drop anymore weight at this time even if my BMI is technically still considered overweight.

Here is where the update begins

     As my weight began to fall simultaneously my running journey began to grow.  Like I said earlier, that gym track was nine laps to a mile, I was lucky if I could run three before I felt like I was gonna die.  I continued to slowly add laps till I hit a mile, then two before I set my sights on trying a 5K.  Once I completed my 5K goal I continued to push myself towards my next goal of a 10K.  I spent every evening looking for races to run.  As time went on my weight went down and my mileage continued to grow.  Several 5Ks, a 10K and a few half marathons later I set the biggest challenge in my life to date, a full marathon.  I spent all summer of 2014 training for the Columbus Marathon, it consumed my existence.  On October 19th, 2014 not only did I complete my first marathon, I did it in under four hours.  Recently I celebrated my 3rd run-aversary  running the same 5K race that started it all for me.  My outlook on running hasn't changed much, I still am looking for ways to challenge and push myself despite a minor injury that sidelined me for a couple of months.  

     Whether I am going for a goal time, contemplating a new distance or just continuing to maintain my weight I now live with the mantra “Only the Committed Will Survive”, and for me to succeed I must stay committed to the desire to be the man I have now become. Throughout this journey I have heard several time the phrase "you never know where running will take you" and I can't say enough how freaking true that statement really is.  For example, without running I would not be writing this blog in the hopes to pay it forward as the Fat to Finish Line crew did for me or met some of the nicest most inspiring people along the way.  And I cannot forget the 11 strangers that formed a Ragnar Relay team and became more than friends, we became Sole Mates.

     Currently I am hovering around at 171 pounds and have gone from a comfortable 48 waist to a snug 32 waist and now wear a medium to large size shirt down from a 3X.  Below is my latest comparison photo when I reached my goal weight of 173 pounds that I created for my friend and Ragnar Relay teammate Katie Foster, who writes the very inspiring blog Runs for Cookies.  She asked to share my story and progress for one of her Motivational Monday posts on her blog.  I now use it to remind myself of how far I have come and that I will always be a "Fat Guy" fighting everyday to be the best healthy fat guy I can be.